Treasuring Memories
I read Pachinko by Min Jin Lee early last year and I’ve had lots of time to sit with the story and one small part that takes place early on in the book has lingered with me the most.
“Sunja nodded as he spoke, trying to remember his every word, to hold on to his every image, and to grasp whatever he was trying to tell her. She treasured his stories like the beach glass and rose-colored stones she used to collect as a girl— his words astonished her because he was taking her by the hand and showing her new, unforgettable things.”
To be perfectly honest, I may have misremembered the context of this passage— the image I painted misses some of the details. It follows the protagonist Sunja, a teenage girl working at an inn with her mother in a small fishing village in Korea in the early 20th century. A secluded life filled with wonder-less labor where her only company is her mother, the other inn workers, and the fisherman that stay there. She didn’t dream, but not of her choosing— she didn’t think to. Her life was confined to this small world and she didn’t have the chance to think of anything beyond that.
It’s not until Hansu that this world is disrupted. In my recollection of this part, I kinda forget about Hansu’s influence in this quote— or maybe just disregarded it. Hansu is an older and well-off businessman that takes interest in Sunja. His experience and worldliness towers over her and shows her how small her world really is. He was a window into everything that she didn’t know. Suddenly, her perception of the world evolved tenfold and she needed his words to walk her through it.
When I thought of this quote, I remembered Sunja describing the things Hansu told her as these beautiful stones that she treasured. It created this luminous picture in my mind, this bleak world that she operated in was suddenly brought color. To take the things someone says and to hold it so tightly and let it shine curiosity around you. I personally resonated with this idea— having not experienced much and then to be given something and have them feel so precious, something to hang onto especially in uncertainty.
I remembered it somewhat out of context and enjoyed the picture of these moments, stories, ideas— as glowing treasures. It felt like how I choose to remember things, to keep things closely as they enrich and guide me. These are the things that I hold dearly that are flexible and I can carry as currency wherever I go.
Looking back at the actual quote, I felt more confronted by Hansu’s character than I remembered. It was more insidious. Talking to Hansu was the first time Sunja was deeply introduced to herself as well. Through his manipulation, her world was expanded outward, which was probably Hansu’s goal— to have her in awe in all that she did not know and to rely on his words.
Thinking of this, the quote was suddenly more corrupt. It left me with the impression that Hansu was to take credit for all of the things to come in Sunja’s life. But in reality, Hansu was of little importance. Before him, she hadn’t had the chance to reflect on herself or share her thoughts and her life with anyone on a deeper level. Hansu may have served as a catalyst that uncovered all of these things in Sunja but they were already there within her. The evil was that they had to be discovered in such a situation with him.
I still find a beauty to the imagery despite the context that it’s found in. In fact the darkness that surrounds these precious stones does not make them more dull. Although they may have come from him, they were still hers to keep and it’s her thoughts and the way she uses them that bring them their preciousness, not him.
A reflection on a quote that I remembered fondly and found that it wasn’t as warm of an idea as I thought. The tone was quite different than what I remembered, but challenging what I had thought before forced me to reflect deeper on their relationship. I just thought it was an interesting situation that I wanted to share, especially considering it was an idea that resonated with me and I kinda just took it and ran.
There’s another story here about being mindful of the things given to you, where they come from, and how you choose to use them. It’s always good to check to see if they align and that they haven’t gotten away from you.
